-My opinion about barbell rows is as follows: fuck barbell rows. Really. Fuck them. Stop wasting time worrying about barbell rows and get your deadlift up to 500. By then you'll have your own opinion and you won't have to worry about mine.
-Speaking of kettlebells snatches shoulder position and the Russian: I am a child of the Cold War. I don't like them.
-I don't even like Greg Glassman. I don't have a cult like allegiance to the guy. I really don't like him. He's too hard to get on the phone and he doesn't drink my kind of scotch.
-And folks, for weight-gaining purposes, "eating clean" is not a useful concept. Big Macs are.
-If you can't train and work in a warehouse at the same time, you probably have ovarian cancer. Consult your gynecologist.
-Women who claim to be afraid to train hard because they “always bulk up too much” are often already pretty bulky, or “skinny fat” (thin but weak and deconditioned) and have found another excuse to continue life sitting on their butts.
-On the ethics of meat eating:
Okay, have you ever been around chickens? They are stupid, uncooperative, inconvenient, ill-tempered creatures. They get what they deserve. Fuck chickens.
-Baby mammals drink milk, and you sir, are a baby mammal.
-And no, you don't excrete excess calories, because evolution didn't see fit to exterminate the species in this way. If that happened, fat people would be in zoos where they belong since they'd be quite rare.
-It is because over thirty years of direct observation has demonstrated to me that when trainees drink one gallon of milk added to their regular diet and train in a progressive linear fashion, they gain significant muscular bodyweight, and those that do not drink their milk, even in the presence of progressive linear training, fail to do this. They also fail to continue progressive linear training for the same length of time, because this is facilitated by the steady weight gain. I understand that you're asking me if I have controlled for other factors such as failure to do the program correctly, and the answer is yes, of course I have, because I am not a complete idiot. Those that will not do the program are not being considered when I make these remarks, because that would be too fucking obvious a hole in my analysis. The difference in the milk drinkers is that THEY GET BIGGER THAN THE ONES WHO WON'T DRINK THE FUCKING MILK. Please tell me that you understand this now.
-Soy milk is essentially Coffee-Mate laced with estrogen, and is best left to vegans and other socialist vegetarian types that can't bring themselves to eat the completely natural-for-humans flesh of our friends the Animals but who have no trouble with slaughtering trillions of our other friends the Plants and processing -- in gigantic factories run by multinational corporations with shareholders that eat meat themselves -- very selectively chosen components of their poor little bodies into gooey shit that humans have never had an opportunity to adapt to digesting.
-The only legitimate use for a glove is to cover an injury... A desire to prevent callus formation (possibly so as to not snag one's pantyhose) does not constitute a legitimate use.
(En respuesta a un chico que le dijo que desde que empezó con el PM, su curl femoral no había mejorado)
-That's like bitching about masturbation not being fun anymore since you started dating a porn star.
-If you want to look like some Abercrombie model, then find another program and enjoy your nice, easy training style. If you are serious about adding muscle to your frame, then get under the damn bar and make it happen.
-The deadlift is more functional in that it’s very hard to imagine a more useful application of strength than picking heavy shit up off the ground.
-On not calling "The Press", "The Shoulder Press:"
-We just call it the press, because how could you press without the shoulders? You can leg press... but that's gay.
-Sobre U2: "I don't like Bono. He needs to train more."
-If lifting heavy weights for partial [squats] were of any benefit for sports, Gold's Gym would be fielding the majority of the 2008 Olympic team.
-There is never an absolute answer to everything, except of course that you have to do your squats.
-You can't make people smarter. You can expose them to information, but your responsibility stops there.
